Cycle
by iMissa
Summary: It was like a never ending cycle. She never stopped loving and he never stopped hurting. [SasuSaku]


**Dedication: Veiled White Roses, since she asked for an angsty SasuSaku with some jealousy. Well, here it is, babe, hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: The last time I checked, I was female, and I suck at drawing. So I don't own Naruto. I do, however, own a Konoha wristband, if that counts for anything.**

Every day it would basically be the same. She would wake up alone in cold sheets. _'That's okay,'_ she tells herself, _'he's just out training. You know how he is.'_ She smiles, believing it, and gets up to take a shower.

She comes out and makes lunch, makes two plates and sits and eats alone, waiting for him to come home. _'He's always been so dedicated.'_ She eats her food and waits a little while for him. When he doesn't show up for lunch, she isn't offended. _'He doesn't know what time it is,' _she thinks, _'he would surely come home if he knew I made his favorite.' _

She begins to do laundry, and as she picks up one of his shirts, she inhales it, smelling the deep musk of the forest that always seem to clung to his skin… but then, there is the undertone of another; the scent is sweeter, much like perfume. _'It's probably from someone he does missions with. She might've knocked him out of the way of an oncoming kunai. He's always protected his teammates, even when we were genin.' _She says firmly in her head, ignoring how her chest tightens and her eyes burn.

Because

It's

All

A

Lie.

---

She hums as she makes dinner, eyeing the clock. _'He's still training. Or maybe he's with Naruto.' _She stirs the sauce, and tastes it. _'He loves tomatoes, I'm sure he'll enjoy this.' _Again, she makes a plate for two, and places one in front of his spot. _'He'll be home soon,' _she soothes herself, _'Naruto is probably being an idiot again and they're sparring until they're all bruised and battered. Then, he'll come home and eat, and he won't say that he likes it but I'll see it in his eyes.' _

He doesn't come home for dinner.

She cleans the living room, and stares at the picture of them on their wedding day. She smiles at it.

It

Is

The

First

Time

He

Kissed

Her

And she tries not to be too unhappy about it. He married her, didn't he?

---

She rolls and glances at the clock. 2:47 am glares at her accusingly, but she ignores it, because he's home. Their door opens softly, and it's dark, but she tries to see him. Her mind conjures up an image since she can't: soft raven black hair and obsidian eyes that always seemed to be glaring at her. She shakes her head, and watches as he takes off his shirt and puts on a new one, then crawls into their bed.

"Sasuke-kun," she whispers, her voice thick with sleep. She scrunches closer to him, and he pulls away.

"Go to sleep, Sakura." He snaps, and moves away from her. _'He has never liked closeness.' _Her mind consoles. _'He's here with you, isn't he? It doesn't matter that he won't let you hold him while he sleeps, because if he did, it wouldn't be him.' _He falls asleep and she shifts closer to him.

Ignores

The

Scent

That

Is

Not

His

----

Sometimes she follows him. It's hard not to, because he's never home. She sleeps in the afternoon, sleeping on the couch. _'He's going to come home and yell at me for being so lazy, but then he'll pick me up and carry me to bed.' _Her conscience tells her, somewhere in between that hazy line of sleep and awake.

When she wakes up, it is past dinner time, and she panics. _'Or maybe if he sees that I haven't cooked, he'll do so. I'm sure he's fantastic in the kitchen, because he's amazing at everything else.' _She waits a half hour before cooking, and she sets the plate down in front of his seat and eats, ignoring the pain.

He

Is

Never

Home

She stares out the window, and her ears sharpen as she hears his muted footsteps. He walks in the bedroom door and changes his shorts, pulling off his shoes before laying down on his side of the bed. She wiggles closer, but the look he gives her makes her freeze in her tracks, and she just lays there, waiting out the night while she stares at the man beside her. He is her husband, he has married her, so that must count for something, right?

_'Obviously, he wouldn't say I Do if he hated you.'_

She ignores the lump in her throat.

Because

Yes

He

Would

---

Morning dawns bright and warm, and she stays perfectly still, listening as he showers and comes out ten minutes later, dressed already (she knows this because she peeks slightly out of one eye) and he is walking away, his back to her. She waits a couple of minutes before throwing off the covers, clothes already on, and hides her chakra.

He continues to walk, unknowing that his wife is following him. _'It's okay, he's out to get us a present.' _She mentally tells herself, and keeps her eyes on him as he walks on, then turns left and heads towards a house. She watches from behind the corner, and sees a woman with long, wavy blond hair and bright blue eyes smile at him. She watches as his lips lift upwards, _'He's just trying to be friendly,' _and he walks towards the woman. She kisses him, _'He didn't initiate it, so it's okay,' _and they head inside the lady's house. _'They're just discussing a mission, or something.' _But a lump forms in her throat.

It

Hurts

To

Be

Second

Best

She walks back home. It is their anniversary.

---

She wraps the blankets closer to her, and looks at the clock. 3:01 am, and their front door opens. She doesn't even pretend to be asleep. He walks in the bedroom and strips himself of both his shirt and his shorts before changing into another pair as he lays in his spot of the bed.

"Sasuke-kun, I was thinking, maybe we should have a vacation. Just you and I." She says, and leans into his side as he pushes her away.

"You've got work tomorrow and I've got missions. Go to sleep." He turns on his side, and she watches him. She doesn't sleep, but he does. He turns over in his sleep, _'He is trying to unconsciously be near you,'_ and she watches him. Her eyes drift from point to point on his face, drinking in this thing that was hers but not quite. But that's okay, he married her. It has to mean _something_, right? He must love her if he married her. Her eyes burn with unshed tears.

No

He

Doesn't

---

She wakes up again, the sheets tangled around her legs and an empty bed. She ignores this and begins to make the bed, take a shower, and make food for two.

In the end, she never stopped loving him and he never stopped hurting her.

----

This is for the **girls** who have been used  
who have _endured_ what he was giving  
because at least he was giving **something**  
this is for the stupidity of the nights  
we've believed that _something was better than nothing_  
even though the something **was** nothing  
this is for the girls who have been satisfied with too little  
**& who have learned to never expect anything more**

----

**A/N- I actually like this, despite the whole angst factor and the idea of Sasuke cheating being OOC, but hey, males will be males. I hope Veiled White Roses will like it too, since she asked for it. Anyway, thoughts?**


End file.
